Aksara Jiwa

  Idk whether im depressed or not as i gelak hari hari. But my heart felt really empty. I solat but my heart still empty. What's wrong with me? Sometimes i felt like i should die. Yes i should tapi pahala tak banyak. But i wanna be with my mom.I miss my mom. I really missing her. Like my half-body went away with her. I just wanna met her once in my dream tapi tu pun susah. I nak mak. The one yang selalu tanya adik okay ke, adik nk apa apa ke,nnt balik adik nk mkn apa, nnt balik nak shopping apa apa tak, nnt kita pegi macam macam tempat eh, result adik mcm mana, study okay tak, ada problem tak. No one can replace my mom. I'm crying right now. Kalaulah i tau that night malam last i dapat WhatsApp dia and dapat dgr suara dia i tak buat apa apa dah,i takkan pegi mana mana lg and i akan call dia smpai la pagi. But kita taktau kan bnda nk jadi. My heart sakit gila. I nak mak. I nak mak.. I nak mak 😔😔😔😔. I sedih sbb kena rasa kehilangan tu awal sangat 😭😭😭😭😭😭. I WANNA DIE. 

Hallu! Ya lama tak update blog. So yeah dah habis intern and skrg tgh menganggur dekat rumah. Lama tak lama jugak but dah sebulan lebih. I kinda miss my moment masa intern dulu sbb i think i love my workplace damn much and the surroundings sangat soothing okay 😭.Elaun pun dapat and i dapat banyak experience dkt sana although pkp kan.So dah banyak sgt job application yang aku apply but till now, masih takde yang panggil kerja. Phone iv semua tu biasalah then end up diam je. Sumpah rasa mcm fed up and know how it feels to become a real adult okay. Suffocating gila. I wanna cry as aku mcm rasa aku useless betul bila duduk dkt rumah lama lama ni. Rasa nk sambung master but for now dpt kerja tu lagi penting la bagi aku. If dah ada kerja nnt mungkin boleh fikir pasal master. Result last sem dah keluar (INTERN'S RESULT). AHHAHAHAHAH YES I GOT As!. Dah expect tapi yela mana tau takde rezeki ke kan so yeah merasa la 4 flat sem akhir hehehhehehhe cis. Im proud of myself *tepuk bahu sendiri*...